FML
by 7th fire
Summary: souls having a bad week. and there are things he'd like to say if there wasnt the constant fear of the death by chopping. crappy summary srry just read and rev. m for later chapters language and citrus.
1. dont fear the reaper dont go there

Disclaimer. All characters go to their respective authors.

Soul's week isnt going well. He has been repetitively maka chopped and even reaper chopped a few times for things he hasnt exactly said or done. Whats worse is he is trying his hardest to say something that has been on his mind while still retaining his level of cool he so covets.

What will happen when tsubaki plays mentor to the young scythe. Well that is a matter of how he will handle the rest of the bad week. Be for warned there will be language and citrus. But for the most part its just going to annoy soul.

{fuck my life.} souls bad week.

Ch1. Dont fear the reaper.

"oh come on... ive killed hundreds of kishins... theres no way I dont have enough yet." soul complained as lord death criticized his lack of aptitude for becoming a deathscythe. "cut me a break will ya."

"soul..." maka scolded him. "that is no way to talk to lord death"

"what... you dont think I can hack it?" he put his hands in his pockets "im too cool to be played like this."

"soul" the cloaked figure of lord death spoke as he poked the young man "if you recall you failed to collect a witch soul. So all of the souls you had collected were confiscated. Though I admire your attitude towards the situation. You are hardly being played... you simply failed a task."

"so now what... hunt more? Gimme a break. This is lame." he scoffed before a massive reaper chop was delivered.

"somtimes your insolence is intolerable. Soul you will hunt if you desire to become a deathscythe. I cut no corners with this... my weapons will be disciplined and powerful. Not just one or the other... niether of which you are at the current moment."

"but"

"on a further note ive gotten wind of a small situation between you and a mister from one of your classes. I will not tolerate dissension amongst the members of the academy."

"he started it. He should have been quiet when I warned hi..." another reaper chop silenced his protest.

"enough... now... continue with your training and I dont want to hear of another incident out of you or youll get the chopping of your life." with that they were dissmissed.

Maka sighed as she watched soul peel himself from the floor. "when will you learn. Its better just to go with it."

"i think I got screwed just now." he rubbed his head and stood "you know you could have defended me back there."

"no thanks... you tend to cause us both trouble if I intervene."

"but... you know that guy started it."

"he asked me a question and you jumped him. If you ask me I think thats just you being jealous."

"and whats that suppose to mean" their faces now were mere inches apart glaring at eachother.

"you heard me."

"oh im sorry bookworm I dont think I can hear you from behind the hardback oh wait thats just your face." she chopped him and again he plucked himself from the ground "b...b...bitch"

"shut up and you may not die." she held up a book threatening immanent demise should he speak again.

"alright dont hit me again. Jeez." he backed away. "ya know I dont even want to do this anymore honestly... just seems so... uncool."

"your just dissapointed that you got chopped."

"no im not!"

"then why are you so defensive?"

"im not defensive I just dont like getting chopped... I kina favor my head ya know."

"dont fear the reaper?"

"dont go there..."

they walked in silence back to the board to receive a mission.


	2. funny the way it is

Disclaimer:

I don't own. Don't sue.

Another of the episodes of FML if ya haven't noticed by the first chapter each title has a song. So if you think you know it you'll catch the irony. Just an Easter egg for ya. Read and rev.

funny the way it is "tsubaki's offer."

"oh come on soul. You know you want to." the much more composed weapon says as she prods him with a hostile finger "you cant hide it from me."

"im not hiding anything and yes I can." he slumps as he crosses his arms.

"you like the thought of it you know it. Don't deny it. I can tell."

"and just how the hell..." she cut him short.

"woman intuition. Now just go with it."

"i swear when im a deathscythe im gona make it a point to eat you first"

"oh blah. Now black star do me a favor and hand me that." she voices to the boy across the room while pointing at an odd red flower sitting on a table just in front of him.

"okay." he sniggers as he picks it up and hands it to her "oh soul so dreamy." he mock faints to add drama to the insulting innuendo.

"knock it off ya little creep." the now furious soul gave him a sinister death glare. "you're right up there with her!"

"oh my" tsubaki blushed as she attempted to compliment the usually easily insulted soul "well... its definitely different."

"he looks a bit... stiff tsubaki..." black star's laughter has ceased as he looks at the other man without hesitating to call tsubaki's lack of judgment out. "maybe just a nice shirt would have done?"

"trust me... she'll love it."

"remind me again why I let you put me in this monkey suit" soul complained as the red flower was quickly stuffed into one of the pockets the jacket held.

"well about half an hour ago yesterday you said you needed assistance. I offered help. If you didn't want a woman's touch on a matter concerning a woman in your interest perhaps maybe you should have not asked. So don't complain. Yeah I know its stuffy and you like your freaky get up. But this looks nice and its bound to turn her head." she scalded him for insulting her work.

"how in the hell do you know that... and don't say woman's intuition cause I don't buy it."

"i am a woman you know... and so is she. You cant loose trust me." she smiled wryly as she stood him up in front of a large mirror.

"you look like a mortician." black star deadpanned as he patted soul on the shoulder. "best of luck to ya... I eagerly await your being chopped to death."

"yeah thanks for the pep talk ass." he frowns and tugs at the collar "sometimes I really hate life... why cant I just... oh I dunno... go back and time and pound myself for even asking you this"

tsubakis answer was about as dead as black star's pep talk. "they haven't built a time travel device yet... otherwise I might have gone back and stuffed you in a dress." she grinned.

"funny the way it is... when you think about it... I think the dress would have been an improvement..." he sighs "so whats the next step."

"easy... tickets to a movie... or reservations at a restaurant … which one do you want?"

"what... why don't I just say hey I like you? Wouldn't that be easier"

"yeah but there's no bonding and you two have a lot of ground to cover in that area."

another sigh and he submitted. "movies I guess..." he anticipated a good horror show. "at least maybe this wont be a complete waste of time."

"great. Now let me go set up a 'chance' meeting. Black star! That way." she ushered the two out of the room as she left from it herself. "you guys go that way and ill lead her in." she seemed too enthusiastic about this for souls liking.

"you're gona die you know that right?" black star was chuckling as he pointed soul to a seat on a near by bench"

"keep talking and I wont die alone" he eyed the blue haired menace.

"oh here they come and that's my cue to disappear." in a dramatic puff of smoke he's gone and soul found himself in a very pressuring situation.

"well id better find black star before he gets someone killed." he heard tsubaki's voice "soul's around here somewhere. Probably sleeping if I were to guess."

"thanks... ill see you around then." and then there was her.

"okay don't panic... its maka... she's not gona kill you... granted she may chop the crap out of you if you screw up... but if is such a powerful word." then he saw her "im in big trouble... mmmhmm."

"soul..." she stared at him for a moment "you look..." she hesitated "like a mortician."

"as I said before... funny."


	3. paper cut

Disclaimer. :cut the crap I don't own.

Soul has agreed to ask maka on a date thanks to the administration of tsubaki and black star. Now she has seen his attempt at being patient and he is sure she doesn't admire his hard work. But she surprisingly agrees and now the date begins. With his past luck the few hours before with lord death he wonders what will happen now. Heres hopin for the best huh? Read and rev.

paper cut. "like a worm from a bird."

public places were something he hated to admit he had no fondness of. He wanted to look cool. But in such a state of constant fear and dread of attention he couldn't stand them.

"so where are we going." maka was wearing a rather attractive red satin dress. He wasn't going to complain but it attracted more than its fair share of attention as she lazily folded one arm around his. "you know you said you felt like going somewhere nice... but I haven't been told where. So where are we going... and better yet why such a wild hare?"

"um... well... ill tell you when we get there..." he felt the heat of the situation as his memory of his 'request' for a date came up.

~memory sequence~

"so why the gaudy get up?" she sized him up. She would have told him he looked nice, but the chance to see soul in a suit was a rare occasion and she wanted to pick on him if only briefly.

"well... I just kina felt like dressing out today... also I was... planning on going somewhere nice tonight... you wana tag along?" he seemed sheepish for someone always playing the cool roll.

"sure... um... where are we going though? "

"somewhere nice..."

"when?" she asked so many questions

"as soon as you're ready"

"well... in that case im going home to get ready... where should I meet you?"

"ill...umm... ill come pick you up."

~end memory~

"you're wild hares always end in disaster... perhaps you should tell me before we die." she deadpanned.

"its a secret till then... its gota be a surprise"

"its not my birthday idiot... and I don't like surprises."

"never said it was... but I cant tell you"

"and why not?"

"conscientious objective"

"con-what?"

"you'll just have to wait and see."

"oh soul" she shook her head nervously before she looked up to see the theater. "this is where you wanted to go? Not exactly an occasion for high profile threads."

"this is only the forefront... I felt like seeing a movie first... afterwords you'll see what im really up to." he smirked trying to hide his obvious disappointment. "ive got somewhere else in mind for the end of the evening." he had seen a flyer for a fireworks display on his way to pick up maka. To his fortune it was free of charge and seemed to be in a fairly nice place. So without hesitation he jotted down the address and times before taking off. He had found a way to make the night slightly more, 'significant'

they enter the theater and suddenly he gets a feeling of anxiety he cant brush off. He feels like all the people are watching him and all he wants to do is turn around and leave.

"soul?" maka notices his nervous face "are you alright... you look pale... are you sick?"

"yeah im fine." he doesn't look at her but uncomfortably shifts his gaze from left to right. "just... a little creeped out"

"about what... did someone say something to you?"

he couldn't explain the feeling of displacement. It was like being on stage. He knew he looked cool but it twisted his insides to think about the crowd.

"soul look at me." she was stern as she turned him around. "you look really bad... are you seriously okay?"

"im fine maka..." he scoffed. "im okay"

"don't lie... you look shaken. Whats with you?"

"i don't know?"

"we're going home come on." she then grabbed his hand and proceeded to drag him to the exit.

any other moment he would have been dragging her back to theater to use the tickets. But he took into consideration that the tickets were cheap and the crowd was getting to him. So he went along with it.

once back at the ally where he had parked the bike, to his pleasure, far and away from the bustle of the theater the anxiety melted. Maka was now the only thing that caught his attention and her worried face made him feel guilty.

"what was that soul?" she placed a hand on his shoulder "what happened back there."

"i don't know" he shuddered momentarily "i just got really freaked out..."

"do you have a people problem?"

"of course not... I mean... not really"

"soul ive never seen you do that... you looked scared..."

"i just don't like crowds..."

"somethings on your mind... other than the crowd... you always act weird when you wana say something you cant get out... come on tell me."

"its nothing..."

"you suck at lying soul."

"im not lying."

"then why did you want to drag me out in the middle of the night to a theater and leave before seeing the movie?"

"maka" he debated for a moment telling her the truth. "i was bored thatch all" and without warning there it was. The maka chop. The swift clubbing of his head with whatever random book she had managed to hide in the rather thin dress she wore.

"tell me the truth..." she deadpanned as she scolded him.

He caved. There was no use hiding it. However he didn't have the words for it. So he acted. "maka." he closed the distance quickly and wrapped his arms around her. The immediate shock was obvious as she let out a small squeak before his lips crashed into her.

"soul...mmmmnmmmm" she couldn't speak against him. But she wasn't disliking his actions.

It was several minutes before the embrace broke. Even after the kiss had subsided maka's face bore a longing look.

"maka..." he pulled her close enough to feel her breath upon him. "i... wanted to tell you... that..."

"its okay... I think I understand..." she rests her head on him gently "why didn't you tell me..."

"i didn't want to get chopped..." he scoffed.

"i wouldn't have chopped you for that."

"well with my luck today... I wasn't about to take chances."

"and the theater... what happened... im still confused..."

"well... I just felt paranoid."

"and"

"and what... you get paranoid you start looking over your back."

"and now so you crawl away slowly from telling me the sweetest thing ive ever heard?"

"like a bird from a worm baby"

it was at the mention of the word 'baby' that yet another so dispassionate maka chop landed its mark.

"oww... damnit... I think I got a paper cut..." nothing could have made the ending to the day more painfully grueling.


End file.
